October 25, 2009

      I am having an identity crisis. Who am I? Yesterday I was
ordained a deacon. I know that I am a Jesuit which in Spanish is
jesuita or a little Jesus. These are clues about identity but I wonder if
anyone can help me figure out who I really am? Perhaps today's
Gospel of an encounter between Jesus and Bertimaeus can help me.
      So who is this Bartimaeus and what can we learn from him? He
is reported to be a blind beggar. At least that is the box that people
have drawn around him, but is that who he really is? We seem to like
drawing boxes around people. Perhaps we feel that others have tried
to put us in a box. We may at times even have drawn a box around
ourselves. Yet these labels fail to capture the heart of who we are.
      Jesus sees differently. Jesus looks beyond those labels to our
true identity. Jesus does not put Bartimaeus in that box of a blind
beggar. Instead, Jesus sees a follower. When Jesus looks at you,
what does Jesus see?
      When Jesus calls, ---- Bartimaeus jumps up, throws aside
whatever he is holding on to and immediately draws near to Jesus. In
that moment, nothing else matters to him. The words of those trying
to quiet him disappear. He hears only Jesus. As Jesus called
Bartimaeus, so too Jesus calls you. Do we jump at the opportunity to
respond with excitement as Jesus calls?
      I think my identity is starting to come back. I remember my
sister was 5 years old during a family vacation. We were at a
swimming pool with a large water slide. She got so caught up in a
moment of excitement that rather than jumping UP to shoot herself
straight down the slide, she jumped OUT, jarred her spine,
completely knocked herself out and slid limply into the water.
      Imagine how your life could be different if you were to imitate
Bartimaeus' child-like excitement in springing up when you hear the
voice of Jesus calling you. Can you hear Jesus calling you to cheer
up a friend, to visit someone we know is sick or lonely, to go the
extra mile in your studies or at work?
      This week, listen carefully for Jesus calling you. Jesus may be
present in a relative you have not spoken to in a while, in a neighbor
or co-worker, or in a family member who needs a little extra love
and attention. When Jesus calls you to these apparently ordinary
things, they take on new meaning and may help you to discover who
you really are.
      Like Bartimaeus, Mother Teresa also heard Jesus calling her to
love and serve the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, India. She
responded with inspiring enthusiasm. One time she said that some
people believe that Jesus is the most important thing in the world.
Surprisingly, she said they were wrong. Mother Teresa said that
Jesus was not the most important thing in the world among many
other things. Instead she recognized that Jesus was the only thing in
the world.
      When I first heard Jesus ask Bartimaeus “What do you want
me to do for you?”, I was tempted to hear it as “What do you want”.
But as I prayed and asked Jesus to help me to hear his voice more
clearly I was surprised by a very different image.
      I heard the thump on the slide as my sister landed. My father,
who had been waiting in the water for her, immediately swooped her
up into his arms. In that moment, I see my father looking at my
sister. He would have done anything for her. His look alone screams
“What do you want me to do for you?”. Jesus' passion for Bartimeus,
and more importantly Jesus' passion for us, is such that Jesus looks
at us and sees nothing else. We are not one of many things. When
Jesus looks at you, you are the only thing. Jesus wants to know what
he can do for you. My father's paternal instinct to care for a hurt
child shows me the intensity of Jesus' desire to respond to my
deepest need.
      As my sister regained consciousness, she found herself in my
father's loving arms. We too are called to regain consciousness of our
true identity as followers of Jesus and thus find ourselves in Jesus'
embrace.
     The blind beggar shows us how to respond with child-like
excitement to Jesus. He ignores the voices which try to trick him into
believing that anybody but Jesus can tell him who he really is. We
see Jesus responding whole heartedly to Bartimaeus' needs and in
that moment, Bartimeus discovers his true identity as a follower of
Jesus. Our truest identity comes from our relationship with Jesus.
     Who are we? We are jesuitas, we are little Jesuses. We are
Christians and therefore, like Bartimaeus, we find the true meaning
of our lives and our fullest identity in following Jesus. Listen for
Jesus. Respond with excitement. In that moment, your eyes will be
opened to see Jesus in persons and places you might not have
previously imagined and like Bartimaeus --- you will see - and - you
will follow.